Sept 11, 5 year Anniversary is Nearing... some thoughts

As the Anniversary of Sept. 11th nears I am finding myself thinking of many things. I am still angry when I see pictures of the WTC towers falling. I am heartbroken by seeing the pictures of the Pentagon on fire. But as the images are starting to be played on TV again I am torn between two main feelings. The first is anger and the second is greatfulness. The anger I feel it rages in me. As I listen watch the footage on the towers actually collapsing, or the plane stricking the second tower, I still get enraged with anger. You would think after 5 years that anger would subside. But for me it hasn't I am still so angry about someone killing Americans on our own soil. Not actually the fact it was on our own land, but the fact it was innocent people. I watched a program Sunday night on the WTC and then one on the Pentagon. I found out the one of the men that worked in the Pentagon, was in a meeting in another area when the plane hit. The man would have been in the blast zone and killed if it weren't for this random meeting that was called last minute. The kicker was the man later learned that the flight that hit the Pentagon carried on it his son. His son was going on an honors trip to California for school. Can you imagine finding out your child was on the plane that hit the building you worked in? That is enough to make me just cry thinking about it. I can't imagine. The second feeling I have is greatfulness. I am greatful for the people that got out of the WTC tower alive. There were 12 people that when the building collapsed were stuck in a pocket on the fourth floor and they survived! How excitting for all of them. Yet it makes you think, why were they saved? Why is the man alive yet his son perished? That is hard to deal with... I am going through that in my own life with Derrick. Why is he alive? He literally died and was brought back to life? Why was he healed? When so many others are not. I am so geatful he is alive... So so happy he was healed. But it does make you think about things. I believe those people survived and have a story to tell and a great life to lead. Does that mean that one will be the next world leader and that was the reason they were saved? Maybe not. However I believe each person is here for a reason. A purpose. A God given purpose and I am greatful to be a part of Derrick's life and be able to share in his life. I am happy for the people that got out of the towers. Who were rescued from the Pentagon. I am very greatful for the men and woman on flight 93 that they gave there lives so that others could be saved. I guess as I am writting out this, I am feeling that my greatfulness out weighs the anger I feel. I am greatful I can take a walk with my husband. We can go to the park and he can run and play with the kids. I am greatful that our life together was not cut short. I am happy that we have more time together. I am thankful that there are men and woman in the military fighting for our country and our freedom. I guess I can say I have many things to be thankful and greatful for this Sept. 11th as I remember the attacks that happened that day. I wonder, can I live my life in a way to impact others in a positive way? I sure hope so. I will keeping doing what I do... living each day one day at a time. Greatful for the things I have and the people that are in my life. Greatful of God's grace and mercy and always his healing power!