Sunday, December 02, 2007

Do you know who you are?

I have been undergoing a process that started about a year ago of really finding out who I am. Sounds "new agey" I know but I assure you it has been the hardest and most gratifying thing that I have done. I didn't set out to do it. It is something that just evolved. With out going into much detail I had some things from my past that came back to haunt me - no not a person or anything like that, that showed up, rather something inside me I had never dealt with. I had something traumatic happen to me when I was young and I just pushed it down all these years. Well at some point you have to look at your past in order to know who you are now and find out who you want to be in the future. So I did just that. I took the past sort of head on and am dealing with it. That threw me into a bit of a depression. You see for me, I have never been a depressed kind of a person I might get into funks, but nothing I called a depression. Well this time I found myself fighting to keep my head above water so to speak. Depression for me was simply "depressing my life" meaning I was not pressing into life. I let the circumstances get me down instead of fighting like I normally do, I found myself being swept away. It took me a while to realize what was happening. When I made the choice to start digging in again, I could feel the depression lift. Now I am not saying that would work for everyone but for me getting a goal again, starting to look at the hope that was all around me but I chose not to see, well that started me on the upswing. Today many many months have passed and I am know standing on solid ground knowing where I came from and why I had certain actions and reactions to life. Now that I understand that, I am taking the good qualities I have found in myself and I look forward to the future. I am a survivor, I am a fighter, I am a child of God, I know that the impossible is possible, I know that tomorrow brings new hope and joy. I am excited and look forward to new things happening in my life and in the life of my familys'. I am taking on new rolls and I am on fire and refreshed again. The process was long and is on going. I have often heard woman say you come into your own in your late 30's to early 40's it has been said to be some of the best times in your life because you truly know who you are. I can honestly say I agree. I feel renewed. My dreams are bigger than ever, and I am so excited about that. After all what is life with out dreams? My life has always been an open book, so I share this with you from the bottom of my heart. To know who you are is a powerful thing. To know that power you hold with your words is simply amazing. Life and death is in the power of words. I have learned over the past year to speak words of life over my own life. Now I will look to helping others to speak words of life over their lives. I am worth it! You are worth it!

1 comment:

"The new Worship Pastors" said...

Thanks for being so transparent and honest. What a good reminder to all that we are worth it!!! :)