Well it has been over a month since Derrick was healed and came home from the hospital. I must say I have gone through many many emotions since he has come home. Mostly I have been very happy and beyoned amazed.
What has been upsetting to me is how I personally just kind of got back into a regular life routine. I am upset because I have just been a part of a miracle. A real life miracle and yet I some how just go back into this same every day routine. I talk to God many times a day. I do what our pastor calls "quick prayers" through out the day. When I think about God, or a situation I may be in or someone else is going through, I offer up a "quick prayer" I give it to God and then go about my day. I feel that my life should not just be the same life it was, nor do I want it to be. I know what I am to do with the situation, and I am starting to do what I believe God is calling me to do. Ofcourse it takes time for what I see happening in my life and in Derrick's to come to pass. I don't want to be impatient. Just like Derrick in his healing. I knew it was going to be happen it is being patient and waiting for the healing. Not getting discouraged. So I guess I am saying I am happy to be fulfilling my call in life. It is not something new for me - this situation has just given me more boldness then ever before. I have always loved people and helping people. (that is why we have had around 29-30 people in our home) I feel now though it has just stepped up a notch, in the way I minister to people.
I have never been ashamed to call myself a christian. I just didn't want to get mixed up with some of the christian that forget they aren't suppose to judge people. I am not here to judge anyone. I want people to know that you can be an ordinary person yet live a miraculous life. I am living a truly miraculous life. My husband literally died and was gone for over 96 seconds. He not only was brought back to life, but was healed from paralyzation in a way that Dr's couldn't explain. To watch that healing take place makes me want to see miracles everyday. It makes me excitted to see God's work in other people. I want to help release people from strong holds in their lives. To let people know that God is REAL. God is there just talk to him. Tell him your hurts, your heart's desire. He wants to hear it. Even though he already knows your heart's desires. He craves that intamacy, that closeness, that time with just the two of you. Bring all your worries to him. No matter how little, how big. Give them to the Lord. They are not ours to carry.
When Derrick was in the hospital I was upset over something that had happened with family. But I had to go before God and lay it down, I had to hand the situation up to Him. I couldn't carry that burden. I truly believe in being blameless and leading a righteous life. Am I perfect, well no. But it says in the Word to pick up your cross daily. So to me that means every day you have to work on your relationship with God. The disciples weren't perfect and they literally walked with God. How could I be perfect? To be blameless though is something I can be. To go before God daily and to tell him my thoughts, to ask Him to forgive my sins. And well yes I do that. I kind of laid low when Derrick got back from the hospital, tried to just take some time to sort everything out. It is a lot to go through to almost lose your husband. It has however made me greatful for each day. that is why I don't want to live each day as I used to taking it for granted. I am living life to the fullest, and live each day with no regrets. Offering up my life to the Lord, to live in his calling.
A friend recently emailed me saying that her family lives there life "outloud", and with that comes judgement. It made me think. We too live our lives "outloud" for others to see, and with that comes criticism and other things. My friend had told me you just have to know what to let bounce off of you, and what to bring to God. So I want to say thank you for the advice. It really helped me to put a recent situation with others in check.
I feel that I have truly had some amazing times and some amazing in encounters with God through this situation with Derrick. If you are going through a hard time of any kind, please feel free to let me know about it. You may be suprised to find out I have some Words of Wisdom to give to you.
Thanks for listening.
By the way - Derrick and I have started writing a book.
really how could we not? we have been through so much! (beyond the last month! lol)